Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i need some magic done to my vagina
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
