Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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