so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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