i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
