At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i think my mom watched the whole time
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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