he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i out mim tonsoeep
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