I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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