Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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