I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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