I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
