so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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