Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
