omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
