Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize