I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
