I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Found your dick twin last night
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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