i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
