so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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