I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
True college students do jello shots in the library
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