On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
My pussy is not your playground.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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