yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
