But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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