I think my vagina is haunted
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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