In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
