Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
