I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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