We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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