How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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