my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
