from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
