I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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