when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
