then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
