I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
4 words: hood of his car
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
