And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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