i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
