Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
