I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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