then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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