**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize