Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
