what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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