i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Your dad touched me again.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
