It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize