is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize