I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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