I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I came so hard my ears popped.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
