my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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