I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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