I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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