good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
