we're blogging at a bar
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
