Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize