all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
