going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
