Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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