This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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