I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
