just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
