too bad you live with your parents still
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
