I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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