Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
