wat bout pragnant strippers??
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize