I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
